I’m working on some longform pieces¹ , which has been dominating my reading. As such, I’m taking a “cheat week” and making a list of things I’ve learned from my almost two years as a professional networker/observer/yapper venture capitalist.

Breakthroughs

Things I’ve learned about people

People treat you very differently when your eyes are focused vs unfocused. Smart people respect you more if your eyes are focused, slightly squinted, and dart around a lot. They often treat you like less than human when your eyes are unfocused and your face is relaxed. Aggressive people give you more space and bother you less when your eyes are unfocused and your mouth is slightly ajar.

People who talk fast are often perceived as smarter. Not all smart people are fast talkers, but all fast talkers are smart (in the “brain is definitely processing stuff” way). With certain types of people, talking fast is a subconscious signal of intelligence. With others, it’s a neutral to slight negative (because it’s annoying).

People treat me better when I wear nicer clothes. I really hate that this is a thing, but it is. This is true of both men and women. Men appreciate nice watches. Women appreciate clean² , unlabeled clothes. (Spoiler alert: I bought my polo shirts and bomber jacket at Costco.) If you are trying to impress people, shoes make or break an outfit.

People treat me better when I am skinnier. Muscle and general fitness don’t matter much. This is probably because I have proportionally long arms and pretty broad shoulders regardless of whether I’m lifting or not. As such, I don’t “show” muscle well. However, there’s a really distinct difference in how people treat me based on ~10 lbs that I can gain or lose pretty easily. Notably, at my most fit, people actually treated me pretty poorly. My friend told me it was probably because my neck was too thick and made my face look weird.

People treat me better when I have contacts in vs. glasses. Especially in looks-obsessed places like New York. Another “sad but true” fact.

Loose ties are nicer than you’d expect when you are openly thriving and meaner than you’d expect when you are openly struggling. This is largely related to Potential Network, which I wrote about last week.

Everyone prioritizes one form of intelligence above all others. When I interned at a hedge fund, my boss (one of the best semiconductors PMs on Wall Street, who spent over a decade combined at Coatue and Citadel) told me, “There are three ways to make money: Be smarter than everyone else, work harder than everyone else, or be more creative than everyone else. And the trick is that each one feeds into the other two.” I’ve found that every successful person prides him or herself on one of these three things. Some people are crazy theory jam-sesh partners. Others are “email me on weekends and always respond quickly” diehards. Others still are walking pedigree and AUM filters. All of these are fine and important, but when you are an outsider it’s in your best interest to deduce which one of these facets your new friend admires the most.

I don’t want to work with anyone who does all of the above. Some of the above is fine. I’ve accepted that I need to be put together to be professional and that inefficient communication is just wasting everyone’s time. But if you can’t love me at my joggers and oversized t-shirt, you don’t deserve me at my expensive suit and Rolex⁴ watch. This is why college is so high-leverage, and why I was (somewhat) deliberately a mess in undergrad. You get to know who is nice to you before you have anything to offer. I was known for wearing ill-fitting Old Navy jeans, a Target hoodie, and baseball caps for most of my time at Harvard. For fun, one of my friends dressed up as me for a day (Cubs cap on, stolen hood up, her “comfy jeans” finally outside of the dorm room). She told me, “People are so mean to you!” after roughly 12 hours.

Until next time,

Sam

1  Stay tuned for “The Man I Want to Be,” “Maximally Viable Product,” “Even Tryhards Have Bad Days,” and “Companies stop being interesting when…”

2  As in “something nice, cool” - not washed.

3  ”Assets Under Management — the dick measuring contest of the financial world. IMO this is silly since this is a vanity number that often impedes your ability to do your job (investing in outsized positive outcomes) well. Luckily, our firm has both flexibility and an AUM that surprises people who’ve never heard of us.

4  This is essentially a family heirloom that was a gift from Domino’s Pizza. I don’t buy expensive watches, though having one has turned out to be a huge asset. My Apple Watch and Peanuts Timex are the day-to-day wrist adornment.